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American Idol 8 Episode 26: The Top 9 Results

megancorkreyLast night…well, let’s not talk about last night. It’s still too raw. We’ll get through this recap, sending probably Megan packing, and next week’s “songs from the year the contestants were born” theme will hopefully be less of a trainwreck.

As Ryan welcomes everyone, the camera cuts to Alexis Grace sitting in the audience with season 7’s Jason Castro. Well, okay. Paula looks super pretty in lavender tonight. Simon’s looking at her like he’s Pepe Le Pew and she’s one paint spill away from being his cherie. For the second week in a row, there were 36 million votes.

We get the Ford commercial first (“Mixed Up”) and then go right to the group performance, by Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” Everyone gets at least one solo line tonight. I’m not sure if I’m grateful or disappointed that the pre-recorded group sings means everyone’s mostly in tune. I’m not cringing, but I miss the potential for hilarity.

Ryan introduces a video package about how busy the contestants’ are each week. Oh, poor baby famewhores, slaving over photoshoots and the recording studio while goofing around in your mansion and eating food prepared by your private chef. Your lives, so hard. And then the top 9 spend about an hour doing impersonations of each other, but Ryan puts an end to the fun. He tells Megan, Matt, and Kris to stand up and sends them to the far side of the stage. Next to stand are Adam, Lil, and Allison, and they head to center stage. That leaves Scott, Danny, and Anoop on the right. Ryan walks past the groups and says one of them “could” be the bottom three, which means after the commercial he’s totally going to switch at least a couple of people around. My guess is Kris and Scott will switch places, making Megan, Matt, and Scott the bottom three.

Excuse me, y’all, I believe I’ve regressed into a shrieking 15 year old girl. David Cook, last year’s winner, performs his new single “Come Back To Me.” He looks and sounds absolutely incredible and his band is terrific. Awww, his mom is singing along in the audience. David’s voice sounds particularly amazing from the bridge on. I…I think I need a cold shower. I’m sorry, am I oversharing?

After his performance and a brief chat, Ryan presents David with the certified platinum record for his debut album, David Cook. I only bought two copies, I swear. The Cook extravaganza continues with a 30 second preview clip from the “Come Back To Me” video. David’s rocking the hell out of the guyliner. You can watch the whole thing here.

Back to the results. Ryan totally throws off my predictions right away. He declares Kris and Matt safe, while Megan is in the bottom three. She caws and flaps her arms over to the stool. No, seriously. In the second group, Lil is safe, Allison is in the bottom three, and Adam is safe. In the final group, Danny is safe and it’s down to Scott and Anoop. Anoop is in the bottom three, making Scott safe. Good call, America. Scott may be the mayor of Boringtown but he brought it last night and seems like a total sweetheart, whereas Anoop sucked last night and then acted like a dick when he was called on it.

Ugh, Lady Gaga performs. I loathe her and I can’t wait for her 15 minutes to be up. I’m going for a snack break.

After that nightmare, Ryan sends Allison back to safety. Then, since the show is running behind again, he wastes no time in telling Megan she’s been voted out. Simon bluntly tells her that the judges have no intention of saving her so she should consider her performance a swan song. More like a squashed goose song, but okay. And that’s the end for Megan.

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