The 11 finalists stand on the Staircase of Doom as Ryan walks past them and reminds us that one is going home. THIS…is American Idol! The judges are introduced (Paula is rocking the straight hair), we’re told 31 million votes were cast, and then we go into a recap of the performances. I’m not recapping a recap so y’all can just read what happened.
The group performs “Trouble” and I’m pretty sure this is lip-synched. I’m not imagining that, right? Also, Scott is at the piano, which means another week in which he’s not going to fall off the stage. I’m so going to hell.
The Ford commercial this week is a water balloon fight set to OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again.” It would’ve been better if they’d re-enacted the treadmill dance from the video. I mean, 11 people doing that, one of them being Scott? Comedy gold. Now I’m really going to hell.
After eight years, we get to see what happens after the Wednesday night eliminations. Predictably, everyone’s sad and teary, especially the bootee(s). All the contestants and their families get together for a last dinner with their fallen comrade(s) and it’s nice to get this behind-the-scenes glimpse but it also feels intrusive.
Contestant questions. Ryan asks Alexis how hard it is to say goodbye to a booted contestant and she says she had some idea because she watches the show but didn’t really get it until she was a part of it. Michael is asked about missing his family and he says his 3 year old daughter asked, “Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?” That’s going to earn him a couple of million votes next week. Megan is still sick but feeling much better. Ryan rolls some footage of the group rehearsals, where everyone is wearing masks so they don’t catch Megan’s cooties. Ryan asks why they’re not wearing the masks now and Megan tartly replies they’re supposed to look good.
Time for eliminations! Ryan reminds everyone that whoever makes it through ends up on the tour. The top row is Danny, Lil, Anoop, Allison, and Michael. Safe, safe, safe, and Allison and Michael are told to stand up. Ryan asks Paula who she thinks will be in the bottom three and after much babbling, Paula admits she thinks it’ll be Allison. Ryan wastes no time in telling Paula she’s right and sending Allison to the stools. But just as soon as Michael is feeling safe, Ryan says he’s also in the bottom three. Oh, snap!
Brad Paisley performs “Then.” I like him but he’s not competing to win this show so I’m moving on.
More elimination results! The bottom row is Scott, Megan, Matt, Kris, Alexis, and Adam. Safe, safe, safe, safe, and the last two stand up. Simon still thinks Adam’s performance was atrocious. Whatever, old man. Simon is wronger than wrong and America agrees, which means Alexis is the last in the bottom three. Ryan calls all three over and sends Allison back to safety. Before the break, Ryan asks the judges if they’d save either Michael or Alexis. Simon says they’re considering using the veto on one of them.
After the commercials, we get a montage of Carrie Underwood’s journey from Idol to superstar, then she and Randy Travis perform “I Told You So.” I’m going to fast forward again, after I take a moment to recoil in horror at Carrie’s bouffant-bob…thing.
Back to the results. Ryan stands between Michael and Alexis and announces that Michael is safe. Michael is shocked and relieved, announcing that he wants to “cry like a friggin’ baby.” Hee. Simon tells Alexis that she’s the one the judges are thinking about saving so she’d better sing her heart out. That’s hard to do when she’s got to sing the same song they didn’t like in the first place.
Anyway, Alexis does her best but when she’s done Simon says the judges unanimously agreed that it was good but not good enough. I think they like Alexis but don’t want to waste their veto this early. So, Alexis is going home. It’s a shame because I liked her but if she didn’t connect with viewers, them’s the breaks. Ryan rolls her farewell video and then we’re done.
Next week: Motown! And the show is on Wednesday and Thursday because of Obama’s address.
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