Last night, the top 10 sang Motown, Kara said “artistry” about a million times, Paula gave Simon crayons and coloring books, Simon drew a mustache on Paula’s face, and Adam was awesome and hot and awesome. I would totally hit that if I thought Adam had any interest in ladies. And, you know, had any idea who I was. THIS…is American Idol!
Ryan’s pleased as punch to share that there were 36 million votes, the most received for the top 10 night in the history of the show. Ryan introduces the judges and mentions the shenanigans between Simon and Paula last night. He tells them to get a room and Simon shoots back, “We did.” Well, DUH. They are both single now and there are 8 years of pent-up unresolved sexual tension that needs to be released.
Motown medley group performance! I love how they’re not even pretending these aren’t pre-recorded anymore. This week’s “No, it’s totally live…well, maybe not.” conflicting stories were hilarious. I don’t care if they lipsynch, as long as there is still cheesy dancing. And on that note, Scott has better rhythm than Megan. That’s awesome.
The Ford commercial has the top 10 singing “Pocketful of Sunshine” as they put together a landscape puzzle, which become real and then they drive off through it. And then Ruben Studdard performs and he’s got a lovely voice but I’m still holding a grudge that Clay lost to him so we’re going to move on, okay?
Finally, after some pointless questions to the top 10 from Ryan, we get to the results. Because there are a ton of performances tonight, two of the bottom three are called without a gazillion breaks. Michael’s one, as expected, but Matt also surprisingly lands in the bottom three. I blame it on him performing first in an episode that felt like it lasted forever.
After the commercials, Ryan announces that he’s confirmed Simon and Paula are dating and Simon nods at the camera. I can’t tell if they’re kidding. I’m also embarrassed that I care so much. Then Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone perform “You’re The One For Me.” They sound amazing and Joss is adorably giddy at getting to perform with Smokey. I can’t wait to see her as Anne of Cleves on The Tudors this season.
More results. Scott joins Michael and Matt, making it the first all-dude bottom three this season. After Randy says Matt doesn’t deserve to be in the bottom, Ryan quickly sends Scott back to safety.
Before we find out who’s going to have to sing futilely for a second chance (seriously, the judges aren’t going to use their save on either of these guys), Stevie Wonder sings a Motown medley. Stevie’s a legend but his voice has sounded better. I hate to admit this, but he sounded better with the Jonas Brothers on the Grammys. Also, this goes on and on and on. Next!
Another commercial break, and then Ryan announces that Michael has been voted off. Michael performs his song again but of course it doesn’t matter because he’s not one of the frontrunners and thus not worth the judges’ save. Farewell package, blah blah blah, and we’re done.
Next week: I have no idea what the theme is going to be because Ryan doesn’t tell us. Also, my forever-and-ever AI boyfriend David Cook returns to pimp his new video and perform! But my birthday isn’t until November.
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