[…] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLast week, nobody went home. This week, two people are getting the boot, decided by 45 million votes. Ryan is downright giddy as he tells us that none other than Paula Abdul choreographed the group performance. We see some rehearsal footage and it’s truly awesome to see Paula in her element. She’s coherent, in control, and downright funny and adorable. I hope the rumors that pop up periodically that Paula will compete on Dancing With The Stars turn out to be true at some point because I think […]
Last week, nobody went home. This week, two people are getting the boot, decided by 45 million votes. Ryan is downright giddy as he tells us that none other than Paula Abdul choreographed the group performance. We see some rehearsal footage and it’s truly awesome to see Paula in her element. She’s coherent, in control, and downright funny and adorable. I hope the rumors that pop up periodically that Paula will compete on Dancing With The Stars turn out to be true at some point because I think she would rock that hard.
Paula, wearing a teeny sparkly dress, introduces the top 7 performing Michael Jackson’s “Shake Your Body Down To The Ground.” The dancing is loads of fun and mostly fantastic, with only a few rhythm issues. The lipsynching? Not so much. I’m waiting for Godzilla to start stomping on Tokyo, y’all. I do love the hilarious 70s outfits. Adam in particular looks like Greg Brady. After they’re done, the kids hand a bouquet of flowers to Paula as she beams proudly. Awww. I do love Paula.
Another sucky Ford commercial. And then, results! Ryan starts with Lil, who is still crabby about the criticism she got last night. Less bitchface might have saved you, Lil. Spoiler! Ryan sends Lil to the other side of the stage, follows her, and eliminates her. That was awesomely abrupt. We’re only 10 minutes in! Lil does her sing out and the judges blow smoke up her ass to make her feel better.
The first guest performance is a disco medley by Freda Payne, Thelma Houston, and KC without the Sunshine Band. It’s enjoyable but I’m waiting for one of the old disco ladies to break a hip while teetering around on the stage in their stilettos. Also, Thelma’s boobs are threatening a wardrobe malfunction. I literally had to look away, I was so anxious about that.
More results! Kris was awesome and hot so he’s safe. Adam? Also awesome, hot, and safe. Danny’s a douche with a voice going to hell and mediocre performing skills but he’s got Dead Wife and Jesus going for him so he’s safe. He claps for himself. Asshole. Next is Anoop, who is in the bottom three. Now it’s down to Matt and Allison and it should be Matt joining Anoop but America loves its bland white boys more than its prodigiously talented Latinas so it’s Allison. Yes, in case you missed it, the bottom three were the black girl, the Indian guy, and the Latina, while all the white dudes were safe. It’s not like I was rooting for any of those three aside from Allison but, seriously. That’s just full of epic fail.
Speaking of bland white boys, David Archuleta returns to perform his single “Touch My Hand (But Only My Hand Because Any Other Body Part Means You’re A Dirty Whore Who’s Going To Hell).” The Archbot continues to be impossibly adorable with rainbows and unicorns and kittens shooting out of his ass, but his voice sounds like crap. After he sings, he shakes Anoop’s and Allison’s hands and offers them encouragement. That was nice.
Ryan announces the second person going home – Anoop. Allison scampers back to safety as Anoop performs his song again. Then Ryan brings Lil back out to the stage and introduces their farewell video package, which they have to share. Damn, that’s cold. They should’ve showed Lil’s after she sang, and Anoop’s after he sang. After Lil and Anoop babble about what they’re going to miss and what they’re happy to look forward to, Ryan bids us goodnight.
Next week: The top 5 perform Rat Pack standards, and presumably they’ll be doing two songs apiece. Expect the show to run at least 20 minutes long.
i’m still pulling for Gokey, though I admit he needs to turn it up a notch if he wants to win the whole thing