American Idol Season 8 Episode 27: The Top 8 Perform

The theme is Songs From the Year the Contestants Were Born. If I were on this show I’d sing Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” Go on, Google that. Now you know how old I am. Ryan shows pictures of the judges and Ryan when they were wee. Randy and Ryan were darling, Kara and Simon look like surly assholes, and Paula looks freakishly the same, except shorter.

First is Danny (1980), who was spoiled by his enormous family and told from birth that he was the awesomest thing ever. He smarms his way through a ridiculously overwrought arrangement of “Stand By Me.” His voice is strong but the raspiness has gone past interesting Elliott Yamin territory and to the level where it’s barely holding out. Danny’s top 4 at least because of Dead Wife and Jesus; he needs to pace himself. The judges blow smoke up his ass, although at least Simon says he hated part of it.